A step from the edge
by anastacianott
Summary: When mission goes horribly wrong Avengers could do nothing but watch their friend getting hurt. But what scares them the most is that Loki could actually die after all of this. And they are helpless, powerless to change that. 'Avenger!Loki saves the team' kind of fic)) Many team feels because I love it Please read and review!


A step from the edge

A/N: Ok here is the thing: in my story Loki is Avenger for a couple of years now and he is with good terms with everyone. Tony and Loki are actually best friends, Clint doesn't hate Loki's guts and Natasha is not emotionless killing machine. Odin as always A+ Everyone is little OOC but I don't care. Sorry for mistakes – I'm sure there are many…

Please enjoy!

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"So what, Loki? What will you do for your _team_?" Doom asked with cruel smirk.

Loki maybe for the first time since he came to Midgard felt that something _really_ horrible will happen. Fear and panic crawled at his heart as he watched how Avengers and Thor were trapped inside Doom's electrical power circle. They could not do anything, couldn't fight, and couldn't escape. Doom tricked them all. And he was going to kill everyone who was inside.

But not if Loki can stop it from happening.

"Time for show!"

But when Doom turned to raise his pulsing with energy hand Loki attacked. They fell in vicious battle of silver and green, blinding everyone with its bright lights. Avengers greeted their teeth in anger - they were useless to help Loki. Sheer fear that something could happen to their friend was suffocating as more and more scrapes and bruises appeared on that pale skin.

Thor was anxious. He should be by Loki's side, fighting with him. He must protect his brother! Only thought that Loki would get hurt scared him. They had a long road to forgive each other – he can't lose him now.

Loki finally hit Doom with a spell so that Midgard sorcerer came crashing on the ground. Loki breathed in second's relief as Avengers looked in hope to be released when Doom suddenly barked a loud laugh and brought some device in his hand while standing on his feet. Stark recognized it immediately and breathed terrified 'No' looking and screaming for Loki to get away. Others understood also what fate awaited them when Doom will fire a weapon – they had nowhere to run.

Loki thought a second about his decision and then stepped forward as trigger was pulled. A giant blast slammed in his body and Loki was thrown like a broken doll. In the back of his mind Loki recognized the presence of anti-magic power and would have furrowed his brows if he could move his body in thought of how _exactly_ Doom came to have designs when Coulson assured him not long ago that they were all destroyed. Anti-magic power was created by Stark months ago to suppress all kind of magic – Loki's included. But after recent battle with Enchantress Stark destroyed all his data – Loki's life was not worth that risk. After team's insistence SHIELD agreed to remove all developments.

Anti-magic influence crippled in his mind and _he couldn't move_. Magic was leaving him. Weak and helpless Loki felt like his body would rip in half. Panic took him when Doom crouched above him holding a long sharp silver knife. Bastard then smiled almost regretfully saying.

"It was only _you_ I feared most. But not anymore. "

Not hesitating and still looking in Loki's wide open eyes Doom showed a knife right inside Loki's chest. Loki gasped a stiff scream because – _gods - _pain was unbearable. All air left his lungs and Loki could only tremble feeling steel twisting inside of him, blood leaking on the ground. Faintly as if through the fog in his mind he heard noises like someone was screaming and shouting but he could not focus. When Doom chuckling pulled a knife out and stepped away Loki felt something in him fade. He suddenly realized that it was his _life_ fading – he was strangely certain that he will not survive this. His magic will not be able to repair this horrible damage. _Huh_.

Black spots started to appear on his vision. Because of paralyzing pain lonely tear escaped and rolled down his cheek. But Loki with the last of strength turned his head aside to look at those he became to call family and faintly smiled. They were safe. They were…

His world turned black.

Loki wasn't awake for the shield breaking when Doom vanished and for when Thor raced to him, of the look of pure horror on his brother's face, of the tears that dripped down his face. Loki could not have witnessed as Stark took a strained step but then fell on his knees looking in nowhere, head bowed with defeat, screaming his pain aloud. He did not see Romanoff not actually being able to make a step – the sight of him shocking her heart. Barton who quickly steadied swayed Steve, who just couldn't avert his eyes from a result of his failed leading, their _mistake_. Bruce, who reverted in his usual form and who rushed to the nearest ambulance spot to call for help. And Loki of course was not aware of the cup that helplessly fell and broke from Coulson's suddenly limp hand when agent numbly saw what happened on the computer screens at base.

Loki lay flat in the middle of the road on the ground, blood slowly but steadily spilling around unmoving figure, covering it with angry red almost black spots.

Thor was the first to reach Loki. Mjolnir dropped aside forgotten while god scooped his brother's body in his arms trying to stop the flow of blood and _oh gods_ _help_.

Fearless God of Thunder was trembling violently while he tightened his careful grip on Loki. Blood was seeping on the ground – the wound was terrible. Loki was unconscious – _please_, _not dead_ – and was helplessly limp in his brother's arms. Thor was pale, his eyes wide in panic and fear. He was struck with sudden vision of Loki _dead_ in his arms and it almost made him fall. He could not lose Loki. He will NOT lose him! Because what is his life without Loki… Nothing.

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"How is he, Bruce? Tell us!"

They were all sick with worry waiting for Bruce who was in the infirmary these all long hours to tell them about Loki's condition. What they saw horrified them to the very core of their beings but they hoped. Loki was a _god_ damn it! He _must_ survive! Magic healed Loki all the time – it will surely heal him now.

"I… I-I am sorry…"

"Wh-what? Why are you sorry?" Tony asked in anxious and trembling voice. He was afraid to hear the answer.

"Loki… He's- he will not make it."

Silence. Disbelief. Shock. _No_.

"What are you talking about?!" Stark shouted with anger and despair.

"The injury was fatal. Because weapon was made with anti-magic power inside Loki lost his magic and all his healing abilities. And you saw the wound… No one could survive _that_…"

"But… But the wound mended itself! It closed!" Steve cried.

"It was all but the illusion of healing. To close the wound on the heart took the last bit of his godly reserves. It took everything. And… you know that Loki can't live without magic - it is a part of him… You _know_, Tony that it took time for Loki to rest and came back to his self when he was influenced for the first time by you… Now Loki would not be able to even return to consciousness. It is a miracle he is _still_ alive…"

"So-so… um… so what the prognosis, doc?" Barton looked at the floor, not able to look Bruce in the eyes and _see_ the answer there.

And he was right in his fear. Bruce closed his eyes in defeat and regret.

"… The only thing I was able to do is to plug Loki to life support… but he will not… "

"How long?"

"Tony."

_"How long_, Bruce? "

"… Two, maybe three days most until… "

Tony stormed from the room. Bruce slowly inhaled, trying to stay calm in such dire situation. Natasha slowly sat on the stool, clenching her hands in front of her. Barton sat on the floor beside her, resting his head flat on the chair and closing his eyes. Coulson (who awaited them all at the tower and prepared everything for Bruce and other doctors) walked to the window, shoulders tense, mouth hard. Steve slowly looked on everyone, eyes threatening to spill tears.

"Where is Thor?" He quietly asked.

"Where do you think?" Barton snapped. But then calmed again. "Sorry".

"Thor hasn't left Loki since he carried him from the field", Bruce answered softly. "Maybe someone should go check up on Tony?"

"I'm afraid you won't be able to pass codes which Sir changed in his workshop", Jarvis suddenly spoke.

"What is he doing, Jarvis?" Steve asked in concern.

"Drinking, Mr. Rogers. And crashing things."

"Shit," Barton muttered.

"I… I will go to Thor", Bruce quietly suggested.

"I would like to come too", Natasha said determinedly.

"I too will come", Coulson. "Captain?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Clint?"

"I… I will stay here for a while".

When they came to the infirmary they heard shouts. It seemed Thor was raging and screaming. Looking at each other in sudden fear Bruce, Steve, Coulson and Natasha all run to the doors. Opening the doors and seeing the scene in front of them made their hearts break.

Thor was definitely breaking down. It was painful to even look at god's swollen with unending tears eyes, his unkempt hair and seemed physically pained expression on his face. He sat rocking on the stool beside the bed on which Loki lay so still that he looked like he was already dead. White bandages with crimson stains covered Loki's barely lifting bare chest. Thor held Loki's pale hand in his two, squeezing and caressing with gentle fingers. Such gentleness was the contrast with Thor's angry voice. God didn't seem to realize that he wasn't alone anymore, but he continued to scream.

"You fool! Stupid! How could you be called a warrior? You are worthless!" Natasha gaped, others stared in shock." You fool, Loki! What were you thinking? Huh? Decided to play a _hero_? Wanted to _save_ me? Look where you are now! You… How _dare_ you! It is MY job to protect you, not YOURS! You hear me?! I would better die that let you sacrifice yourself for me! Fool… Did you even _think_ what have you done to me? But maybe you WANTED this, because you should have realized that I won't be able to live without you! Is that what you _wanted_?! Congratulation, Loki! You did a perfect job! You have always wanted to kill me and now your wish CAME TRUE! I HATE YOU! _HATE YOU_!"

Thor fell on his knees near bed still squeezing his brother's hand. Coulson and Steve rushed to help him. Bruce quickly checked Loki's vitals. Natasha stayed frozen against the wall. She felt burning in her own eyes seeing Thor in such pain and what he said…

"How could you do this, Loki…? How could you do this to me…? I am not worth it… Not worth your life… I will not survive without you… I am lost without you… Loki… Loki… Please… Don't leave me… Please, brother… brother… "

Steve crying led absolutely drained both physically and emotionally Thor from the room. Bruce walked behind them wanting to make sure if Thor was alright at least in health and maybe give him some sleeping peels.

Natasha and Coulson remained in the infirmary, not being able to tear their eyes from Loki's form. His hand was hanging in the air after Thor had to let it go. He looked so small in that hospital bed, so young and vulnerable… Like when he lay on that ground not being able to defend himself.

_How could it have come to this? How could it happen? It is surreal…_

Loki's eyes were closed, his face revealing nothing but peace. Never have they seen him like that.

Was it not that cocky bastard who liked to flirt and embarrass everyone around with Tony's help? Was it not such open and almost childish person, who watched Disney movies with all of them? But who also was being especially bitchy one while watching horror movies and scaring the hell out of them becoming the main characters? Was it not a man, who just couldn't stand gratitude referred to him, but nonetheless keeping saving lives of his former enemies? Who adored ice-cream, even if it first scared him because of reminding about his cursed heritage, which ruined his life? And surely was it not the criminal of Earth, who just a couple of hours ago placed his life in a line of deathly danger so to save the lives of his teammates and his brother? Brother, who was in agony now from a possibility of life without _his_ little brother beside him.

And still it was Loki. But now he was motionless, deathly pale, non-reacting… Lifeless. Only machines made his gravely injured heart beating.

Natasha quietly sat on the stool. She tentatively laid Loki's hand on the blanket, keeping her hand on his. Cold. She looked at her friend. Yes, friend. It will not be the same without him and it kills her inside. It was hard enough when he was occasionally leaving to Asgard because home was becoming much quieter and duller without his presence. Loki's mischief – even when he was beyond reason or tact – was funny and mood-lightening. Loki did make them laugh and smile. What every one of them needed more in their lives.

Natasha unconsciously brought a hand to Loki's hair, brushing some locks from his face and tentatively stroking his brows. Loki would never let anyone touch him aside from Thor and maybe Tony. But now he couldn't object and because of that Natasha wanted to provide that little comfort she was able to give.

Everyone thinks she is emotionless, heartless, and cold. But it is not true. She just doesn't show it. But seeing Loki stabbed in the heart, his pain-streaked helpless eyes, because he couldn't even _move_… and little barely seen relieved smile when he realized that everyone was safe. Seeing that broke all walls inside her, crashed her defenses and now she was hurt. She was always the one for not feeling anything when a life was lost. But it seemed not this time.

Coulson looked tired. Not many could ever say what Coulson was thinking in any situation – he was a closed book. But now – with Nat and Loki - he let the mask slip. He was tired. And he was angry. He was not able to lash out like Thor did, but he was close on the inside. He wanted to burn Doom for what he had done to his team, to his family and his friends. Doom stole hidden blueprints about anti-magic power and used it against them, against _Loki_. And it was just after Coulson swore to Loki that he was safe, that information was securely closed and no one will be able to endanger Loki so ever again after that Amora case. Loki believed him. And now Coulson is no one but a liar. He broke his trust with Loki. Because of his mistake Loki will never open his eyes again. It was as if _Coulson_ killed Loki. He is responsible.

"Nat?"

"He shouldn't be alone. I will stay with him."

"If you don't mind – I will too."

They didn't talk. They just sat around the bed, Natasha absentmindedly stroking Loki's black hair and Coulson staring out the window, lost in thoughts.

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Fury came later that day. Taking his way to the main room director noticed how quiet it was. Of course he knew what happened, but didn't know the consequences, because Stark Tower cut any connection with the outside world. Even Coulson didn't answer. Not that he could blame them…

Not finding anyone there Nick Fury asked Jarvis where Coulson was. AI told him that agent Romanoff and agent Coulson were in the infirmary. Nick headed there.

Arriving on the floor Fury couldn't help but stop when he looked through the glass and saw Natasha who sat by the bed, stroking Loki's hair – _oh, damn it Loki, you poor bastard, why the hell it all happened!_ - looking in space and Phil, who stood by the window. It was unusual to see his agents like that. But Fury was not heartless – he understood.

Knocking twice on the glass he caught Phil's attention. Natasha stayed still.

:::::

"Doom went specifically after Loki. He did everything to take him down as the most powerful of the Avengers. And… plan succeeded."

"Will he survive?"

"… No."

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Barton quietly entered infirmary at night when others were asleep. He sat near Loki's bed and just silently looked at god. At the one who saved his life – and not for the first time. Loki was unresponsive to the world of living. In day or two this man will die. Loki will die. And there was nothing Clint could do to change that. So the only thing Clint could do was sit there with his once hated enemy who became friend-like ally. Someone who was annoying but agonizingly hard one to let go. By everyone in their little family. Even by him…

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Odin met a silent house. He found most of the Avengers – Tony, Steve and Clint – in the main room. Humans were startled to see Odin. Steve and Clint stood a little uncertain. Tony stayed sitting on the couch flipping with a screwdriver on his metal bracer.

"Mortals. Where is my son?"

"Which one?" Tony asked indifferently.

"Tony!"

"Man of Iron…"

"Oh, I'm _sorry_ your majesty for my foul mood. If you are looking for thunder boy he is sleeping upstairs drugged. As for your adopted son… he's where he was all these past days… It's not like he can walk away or something-"

"Stark! _Shut up!_" Barton hissed in anger.

"How dare you talk like that when-"

"When _what?_!"

Tony dropped away the instrument and angrily stood on his feet facing Odin.

"Where the fuck were you when Loki-… You are All-father! Then DO SOMETHING! Your son won't make it till tomorrow!"

"I _cannot interfere_. As a king-"

"To _hell_ with a king! You are a fucking FATHER! YOUR SON IS DYING AND YOU DO NOTHING TO PREVENT IT! You can! Tell me you will do it!"

Odin looked not-fazed on Stark. Tony felt like his last flick of hope trembled in panic when he saw nothing in old man's steady gaze. _He would not dare to leave Loki die_. Fathers so powerful will never do such a thing. Will never left his sons suffer if they could prevent it. Isn't it what is right in the world?

"I cannot save one life, when there are others who deserve the same. I cannot."

_"Fuck_ the others!" Tony yelled in desperation. Loki could not die. Tony will never forgive himself. "HE SAVED _ALL_ OUR LIVES! THOR'S TOO! YOU- "

"Tony", Steve lowered his gaze and clenched his jaw.

Stark looked at him questioningly _still_ hoping. But when he saw Steve's barely hidden anger at Odin and then quiet acceptance Tony understood not really needing to look at Odin because Steve has already seen everything they needed to know. _Odin will not help._

"… Loki was right. We thought he always exaggerated but he was right. You are no father of his. _Real_ parent won't stay and watch his child perish. But _you_ do. Having and playing with all this power not giving it to anyone. And it's just… sick."

"It was YOUR machines that destroyed him!" Odin shouted not liking to be blamed by mere mortals. _How dare they teach him?_

"YES! And I will blame myself for that for the rest of my life!"

They became silent. Tony stared in pure hatred and silent agony at Odin. Old greedy bastard. How could he let Loki die when there _is_ a chance of surviving? And what about Thor?

Quickly heading to the door not being able to be in old god's presence anymore Tony threw:

"You know, _Odin_. It will not be only Loki that you will lose. Thor will follow him even in death."

"Thor is the heir to the throne-"

"Be sure that he won't give a fuck about it if Loki dies. It seems you will rule forever. _Good luck with that." _

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"Son, wake up."

_"Father_! Thanks the Norns you are here! Come! You should…"

"Thor, son. Sit."

"But father… We must hurry-"

"I will not heal Loki."

"… Wh_-What_?"

"I cannot choose to save him and deny help to all the others who need it the same."

"… Please… _Don't_…"

"I understand, my son-"

"NO! _NO_! You can't-"

"You are right, Thor – _I_ _can't_. This is my final word."

Thor was _destroyed_. His entire being became crashed from realization that his own father refused to help his brother when he was on the verge of death, pain in his heart willing to tear him apart. It can't happen. Father can't be so heartless. He had never saved anyone at all when _he could have_…

… _Loki_…

"Please… _Please_! Father! Do not abandon him! I beg of you! Father! He is my brother… _My brother_! Loki is… Father! Don't go! He is your son! Do you care nothing for him? How_ could you_- Please! I BEG OF YOU! _FATHER_! FATHER!"

Thor's screams were heard by everyone in the tower. The pain and sheer agony in his voice crashed human's hearts all the way again as if there was anything left to break.

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Odin left his grieving son alone to see for the last time his other son. The sight made him falter.

"Oh, my boy. I can't. I can't do this. I can't."

Loki didn't react. Like all previous days he laid still, machines breathed for him. Eyes closed to the surroundings, face serene. Only bloodied bandages contrasted with the whiteness of the room. Odin was sure that Loki would have screamed at him, shouted to leave him alone if he was not going to help. If he was awake…

"Forgive me, my son."

And Odin left.

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Loki has seen her. It was Hela. His lovely precious daughter. She was so beautiful. And now she was smiling at him. Oh, how he loved her.

"Hello, father."

"Hela, my child. I missed you _so_ much."

"And I you, father. But I'm afraid we won't stay together long."

"What? Why? I wish to be with you forever!"

"I am too, father! I love you so much but I can't bear to see you here."

"What-"

"Do you realize where you are?"

"… I… am dead."

"… _Not yet_. And you won't be. I decided to restore your life."

"Why-why would you do that?"

"I will do it because I can. And I know that you found happiness on Midgard and ripping you away from it when it was so little in your life is cruel."

"Hela…"

"Hush, father. It is my wish. You would have to agree."

"… I am so proud of you, my little girl… if only you knew…"

"I know. I love you, father. And I want you to live full life with those who now cries on your bedside. Uncle Thor lost the will to live without you, father. Mortals show their true faces when think that they are alone with you. They love you dearly. They miss you. And now they are heartbroken and lost. I can see how they are hurting…"

"I- I only wanted to save them."

"You did! You saved them and they are safe thanks to you. But now there is just the only thing they lack."

"And what would that be?"

"You, father. So go back. We will meet again, be sure."

"Please, my child. Let me look at you just a little more… I have missed you so…"

"All right. A little more…"

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Thor sat hunched and frozen on stool near Loki's bedside. His face was grimaced in inner unbearable pain, gaze unfocused. He wasn't moving at all, save the breathing. He didn't even blink. His body was so numb… Father left Loki. He has left Loki to die. The man he worshiped let his son…

Thor closed his sore eyes. All these days memories hunted him day and night. And all of them were about his little brother. Little brother… Especially of recent events. Like it was just yesterday that Loki wouldn't hear Jarvis, lost in studying magic. How he was surprised when Thor came for him. How he was feeling safe in Thor's embrace after Stark's tests. How he laughed on silly jokes and truly smiled talking about ancient magic. How desperately he clanged to Thor after they finally spoke their hearts to each other…

Loki. Loki. Loki. His brother, his friend, his half of whole. _Better_ half.

And all these precious dearly memories were cruelly consumed by memories of Loki's gasped scream, his blood, his lonely tear rolling on his cheek hid in black hair, his wounded body and trembling hands. His painful breathing. His now still form. His deathly pallor and horrid machine which breathed _for_ him. Though now Bruce disconnected it, quietly saying that it was not needed anymore…

Thor squeezed his eyes tightly to forget, forget, forget. How could he ever live in a world without him? How could he wake tomorrow, knowing that he will be absolutely _alone_ and nothing will ever change it? He can't go alone in the world – he tried in the past and how exactly it turned out? Lost, uncertain, weak… No one was able to replace Loki. There is no man like him. Oh gods, Loki…

Thor buried his head near Loki's hand which lay still above white blankets, and wept in despair.

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Loki slowly opened his eyes. The first thing noticed was that he found himself in dimly lighted room – medic bay – lying in hospital bed. It was evening by the red sunset that winked at him through the windows. And it was peacefully quiet. But the first feeling that he noticed was that he hurt all over. Much pain was in his chest covered by bandages and he had trouble to breathe. His throat hurt. His head hurt. Everything hurt. And only then he realized that he was tired. Oh, he was so _tired_. He just wanted to go back to sleep…

But something kept him awake a little longer. A soft pressure near his right hand. Slowly turning his head to the right Loki saw a form of his brother, curled miserably on stool half-lying on his bed.

Suddenly with clarity Loki remembered everything what happened. Fight, trap, Doom and his weapon, saving Avengers, horrible pain and then darkness. He also remembered Hela's word about Thor's unwilling to live without him. Oh, Thor, Thor…

Tiredly but determinedly wanting to easy Thor's suffering Loki lifted his hand (lifting hurts!) and softly caressed dirty blond hair. Thor froze behind his hand. But then he quickly raised his head and sat rigidly on stool. He looked so hurt, so miserable and pained, Loki thought. He wished Thor will recover soon because it pained Loki as well to see his brother in such state.

"Oh _no_…"

Thor chuckled hollowly. Loki tried to speak but his throat was in strange state. Finally he rasped:

"Thor…"

But his brother just shook his head, burying his face in his hands.

"I have finally lost my mind", Thor whispered.

Loki realized that his brother didn't believe that Loki was alive and well. Well, not so well but anyway.

"Y-you… haven't…"

Thor looked Loki in the eyes and silently started to cry. His tears rolled on his cheeks, his beard and his jaw. His sobbing trashed his frame. Loki felt his own tears gathering in his eyes.

"Brother…"

Loki's voice was but a whisper. It was painful to raise his voice because of sharp pain in his chest. He breathed:

"I live…"

Thor was struggling to remain sane. He was confused and hurt, but what he was seeing… Surely it was his imagination? Hallucinations? Loki can't be… He so wanted to believe…

"No. N-no. You died, Loki. You d-died and I have gone insane from grief. This is not real."

"Brother", Loki weakly touched Thor's hand. "I live…"

Thor stared at Loki's hand in such total disbelief. Very carefully as if afraid that it will break Thor placed his own hand on Loki's. Warm. Then he looked up. There was such vulnerability, such hope in Loki's eyes that Thor was afraid that it was all but a dream. _Please, let it not be dream…_

"How…" he breathed.

Loki smiled. Thor started to cry seeing it again – _that smile_.

"Hela".

Thor exhaled in shock. He shuddered from clear realization. His precious _niece_ saved Loki. Not Odin. Hela. Beautiful Hela.

"Hela…"

Loki closed his eyes. He was obviously successful in convincing Thor. But he was so tired and staying awake became difficult with every moment.

"Hello… brother… I missed you… Come here, " last words were barely audible.

Stunned Thor brought Loki's hand to his lips, holding in his two. In next second he sat on the bed, carefully, and half-embraced Loki, kissing his temple. Loki shifted on bed (_oh_, painful!) so Thor could lie beside him. (There are really nice beds in here). Thor still trembling didn't avert his eyes from Loki not for a second, still afraid that everything will disappear and Loki would be dead.

"Loki… Loki… Loki…", Thor just repeated whispering his name like a mantra.

Loki tucked his nose in Thor's neck, relaxing his sore body in familiar warmth. While Thor held Loki securely in his arms, Loki closed his eyes. He was alive. Thor was here. He was safe. For now everything was just right…

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Natasha and Steve silently entered the room and saw how Thor was lying awake on the bed, lips on Loki's forehead, and arms around his brother. Loki himself was lying in Thor's embrace, face in Thor's neck, eyes closed. They were astonished by the sight and didn't know what to think. Didn't dare to even begin to _hope_… Maybe Loki was already dead and Thor just…

"Thor…"

But Thor didn't avert his eyes from Loki. He just hugged his brother tighter. Natasha felt how her eyes burned with tears. _Does it mean that… Is he…_

But then Thor smiled. Little, honest, happiest smile avengers have ever seen. His eyes were full of tears but Thor was smiling.

"Loki is alive… he lives… lives…", Thor whispered and continued quietly repeat, gently stroking Loki's hair.

Shock is a mild word for what Natasha and Steve felt in that moment. Loki is alive? _But how?_ They all have lost any hope… How? _Please, let it be truth…_

Natasha first hesitantly approached bed. She was afraid. She was scared. Blinking up tears she softly touched Loki's shoulder.

"Loki".

Loki didn't wake. He looked like he was sleeping soundly, content in his brother's warmth. He was sleeping… Not…

"Oh god…"

Natasha leaned and kissed Loki's temple, feeling steady heartbeat there. He was warm, not deathly cold as he was the last time. He was… _alive_. Oh, thank God!

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o -

"Jarvis! Tell Tony immediately that Loki… that Loki is alright! That he will recover! And to Clint too! Hurry!"

Tony all but run into infirmary. He almost fell three times when he was getting there. Seeing everyone already there he looked at Loki. Not much changed since last time he saw a god, only that now he was lying in Thor's arms. Also seeing happy tears on his teammates faces (not everyone – Bruce was just happy and Clint held himself until the end – though his eyes were red too) Tony didn't know what to think.

"How?" He'd managed to rasp.

Everyone looked clueless and turned to Thor. Thunder God smiled proudly.

"Hela, Loki's daughter. She did it. She saved my dear brother and me. I am eternally grateful to her. Thank you, Hela…"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o -

It seemed Avengers decided to make Loki's room their own. They constantly came in when he was awake (Jarvis let everyone know, traitor). They watched movies on his TV, gave him various things. Thor now lived there but slept in newly bought bed. Loki was silently happy for such attention and show of care.

Mostly he slept – almost whole days in the beginning and then less so as he so very slowly healed.

No one dared to disturb him when he was sleeping, but the second he opened his eyes – someone always was there.

Loki didn't leave the bed – even after two weeks it was painful for him to move his chest – and he still required oxygen mask, which Bruce was giving him when asked.

Slowly Loki was gathering his strength. With such support he was determined to heal.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o -

"Hey… Look who's awake."

When Jarvis told Stark that he believed Loki was regaining consciousness (newest personal gadget on his phone) Tony's almost run to Loki's room. Of course he stopped in front the doors to regain his pride. Anyway. On these days Loki only woke for several minutes, afterwards dropping back to sleep again. He was still very weak and looked absolutely exhausted. Bruce told them that such behavior was expected with heart wounds. Tony wished for some color to return to Loki's face, because it was still so unbelievable to see his friend living. And _smiling_. No matter how tired that smile was it _was_ there. And Tony was happy.

Stark was trying to spend all his free time with Loki (of course when Thor wasn't, which was almost never – guy decided to _live_ there for god's sake) because Tony still remembered that feeling of waiting. Waiting that in a couple of hours his friend will die. That Loki will be no more. Just a memory. So many good memories… And that it was his _damn_ fault and he was absolutely useless to prevent the death of someone dear to him.

What happened affected every one of the Avengers. Hard. Who would have guessed that the death of once enemy number one will bring them all total breakdown? Thor would not have healed, no matter how much time passed. Natasha was hurt like no one has ever seen her before. Steve cried when no one was looking – he too blamed himself. And others pretty much the same. Tony himself was ready to drown in alcohol and never wake up to see another day if he could help it.

But Loki will never stop surprising them. Hela saved her father. Not Odin fucking All-father, should he burn in hell. They should all thank her because if Loki had died… If he… Nothing would have ever been the same.

"Tony…", Loki sleepily smiled at Stark.

"Yeah, it's me. How are you feeling, sweetheart?"

Loki slowly blinked at him. He looked slightly disoriented but it was nothing new. Carefully inhaling Loki brought his hand to his chest, closing his eyes. Exhaling much like the same Loki cracked resigned:

"Tired…"

"Right, okay. So um… do you need something? Anything?"

"Tony…"

"Yeah, Loks?"

"Stop worrying… I'm- all right…"

"You will be all right when you will stand from this god damn bed! Or stop falling unconscious every so often! So _excuse me_ if I'm a little worried until then… Loki?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you all right?"

Loki opened his green eyes and looked at Tony. He saw such worry and concern in brown ones. Also fear. Oh, and he should talk to Stark later about guilt, which was so obvious in genius's behavior. _Mortals_.

"Yes, Tony… Thank you."

"No problem. Look, take this little thing – I will put it near your hand – and press whenever you wish and I'll be here. Gotcha? Any time. I mean it."

"Okay…"

"Right. So… Sleepy again?"

Loki tiredly nodded.

"Rest, Loks. See you soon."

With that Tony leaned forward and kissed Loki's forehead. Looking on god again, Tony noticed that Loki was already sleeping soundly. Tentatively stroking black hair Tony then quietly left the room. He could not help but smiling.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o -

"You motherfucker are impossible to kill, aren't you?"

"I'm glad to see you too, Director…"

"I… um. I am glad that you are okay, Loki. This team will not be whole without you."

"… Liar."

_"What_?_! _I'm not lying, you sorry excuse of a god! You-"

"I know…"

"… _Oh_. You little-. Okay, you got me. And stop smiling! Stark! I hear you even from here, you son of a bitch!"

"There-there, Director. Do not- uh - strain yourself…"

"Hmm. Why the hell I care for any of you little shits at all is beyond me. Whatever. Get better and get your ass back at field, you hear me? And don't you dare do such trick again, Loki! I need my team whole and happy."

"Thank you… Director."

"Until next time, Loki."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o -

"So… You were sitting at my bedside… Grieving."

Clint suddenly feeling embarrassed turned his head away from Loki's piercing stare. Shit. Fuck. He's busted.

"You… jerk."

"Now now, Barton. Don't be like that. I would also have sat… at my bedside."

"You think it's funny?!"

"Yes. I didn't know you cared… But nonetheless – thank you, Barton. It means a lot to me. Truly."

"I… You are welcome", Clint said grudgingly and quickly run from the room.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o -

"Mother."

"No… Odin killed you… You are dead. My precious child is dead."

"… Yes. Odin left me die. And I died."

Frigga clenched her hands in fists, tension threatening to crash her. This illusion – whoever sent it – was cruel, she can't see him, her child was dead, she's lost him, lost him…

When in that doom's day Heimdall run to her and told that Loki was mortally injured with no hope of surviving Frigga felt her heart stop. Heimdall has had to steady her because her world swayed. She hardly heard words gatekeeper spoke to her only that her Loki protected Thor and Avengers taking fatal blow on himself. And that that cursed machine blocked her son's magic, leaving him vulnerable. And that Loki was wounded in the heart.

Fighting with dizziness Frigga pushed past Heimdall and all but flew to Odin, to the one who could save her son. Explaining hysterically what has happened Frigga put her only hope in her husband. They can't… She _can't_ lose Loki again! _Never_ again! Not when her son has forgave her! When he repaired his relationship with Thor! When he finally had friends that fought for him! Loki _can't_ be ripped away from this!

But how _wrong_ she was. When Odin said 'no' and left to Midgard to say goodbye Frigga found herself again in Loki's room. Just like when he had fallen into Abyss. Only now she was certain. Nothing will bring her baby back. She has lost him. Lost him…

Loki slowly stepped to her, gently taking her trembling hand in his and softly kissing her knuckles.

Frigga thought that she had gone insane.

"But I live. Someone who truly loves me granted me life; so that no one will hurt and suffer because of me… that I thought was impossible my whole life."

"My Loki… Tell me I beg of you-"

"Hush, mother. Do not beg. Your lovely granddaughter and my little Hela – she returned me."

Frigga broke down. She _forgot_ about _Hela_! Not only Odin was powerful enough to restore life. Hela was a queen of the dead! She was a good match to All Father indeed. Hela!

"Please, mother… Do not cry… I am here."

"You are here", she repeated brokenly.

Slowly as if afraid (just like Thor) she touched his cheek, then put a hand on his heart, feeling steady rhythm. And only then desperately she clung to his neck and embraced him so tightly never wishing to let go. Loki hugged her back the same – he missed her.

His mother continued to cry in his chest, while he soothingly caressed her golden hair.

That was until Odin entered. His only eye widened in disbelief. He actually faltered on his steps.

_"Loki?"_

Loki let go of his mother, whispering so only she could hear.

"Do not judge me mother for what I am to do next. I love you. Be well."

Then Loki stepped away; he silently and indifferently stared at All Father.

"You are mistaken, King Odin. Loki is dead – I am but a ghost, who just came to say goodbye to his loved ones."

"No… No! You-"

"And I am leaving."

"No, please! Wait! My son-"

"You _killed_ your son… Loki Laufeyson who died days ago saving his brother and his mortal friends was happy, if you care to know."

_"Please_…"

"You will never see that boy, who wanted to be your son above anything else any more. Farewell Odin All Father."

And Loki vanished.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

A/N: Please leave few words of what you think of it? This will make me truly happy)

Thank you for reading!


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